Things Dirtbags Say, New Zealand-Style

VanIn this case, “dirtbags” refers to trampers, hitchhikers, and people who live in their cars (who have also very likely lived under the previous two labels) traveling in New Zealand for any length of time.

True and Frequent Sayings:
(I’m not making up any of these)

“Do you have duct tape?”

“I just showered in a faucet.”

“Are you gonna finish that?”

“Oh yeah? My instant noodles were only $1.19.”

“Should we swim in this lake/river/ice cold stream?” (The answer is ALWAYS yes.)

“Are your socks dry yet?” (The answer is ALWAYS no.)

“I don’t need cutlery. I have a spork.”

“What’s your favorite backcountry meal?”

“Whaddya MEAN you’ve never heard of a Tim Tam slam?!”

“Where do you want to park the car tonight?”

“Ooh, you have a towel. Fancy.”

“Is that DEET?”

“Your hair smells good.” “I just washed it in the lake.”

“We got you a present! It’s a $2 shirt from the thrift store!”

“Who’s got the bag of wine in their pack?”

“Look, a switchback!” (Unique to NZ, where most trails go straight up 2-meter rootwads and rock faces.)

And, my personal favorite:

“Must be Mount Cook.”

2 thoughts on “Things Dirtbags Say, New Zealand-Style

  1. Hahahaha “I don’t need cutlery. I have a spork.” – Im not even kiwi but I totally get this. We have sporks in Australia too, and dude you seriously don’t need anything in life if you happen to posses one of these eternally useful contraptions. Legit: knife? Spoon? Hair brush? House? Car? Other miscellaneous possessions? Nah man, I’m good I’ve got my spork.


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