I have discovered that skiing is the only time when I am absolutely and completely in the moment. I don’t think ahead to tonight, think back to yesterday, analyze that conversation, worry about whatever it is I’ve found to worry about that day. My mind is empty except for the next turn, the feel of my skis on the snow, my body working, moving, flying. In those moments, I am wholly alive and present. I am at peace.
I watched a film called The Dream Line in the New Zealand Mountain Film Festival yesterday, about those times when you realize you’re dreaming and that realization allows you to do anything you want in that dream. That when we realize that life is a dream, we can wake up inside it and make anything happen.
I’ve woken up in my dream. I am the person I’ve always wanted to be, strong in body and spirit. I do work that feeds my soul. I play in mountains that feed my heart. I am surrounded by people who feed my mind. I sometimes feel constructed of love and gratitude. I dream in hypercolor.
I’ll still dream when I cross the ocean in August from New Zealand winter to Montana summer. Now that I’ve woken up, I’ll bring my hypercolor home to all of my friends and family that I’ve missed over these long months. I know now that I will not be torn. I will be the most complete that I have ever been.
But for now, for the next 4 weeks, I will be present. I will be here. Every moment is a ski turn.